I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my sisters under your porch take her home
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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