ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
