it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
