are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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