My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
