I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
