you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
