I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Two words: nipple clamps
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