O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
