the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
