So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
