I will die if light touches me.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
