dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
