I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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