do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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