I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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