Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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