hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
