your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
