Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
