I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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