My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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