ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
