His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
