You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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