I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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