Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
