Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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