So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
