It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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