For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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