Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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