my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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