u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
