Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize