goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm passing your future prison.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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