she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
