after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
