I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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