yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
