It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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