How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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