sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
