i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
