I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
