I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
