he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
