Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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