Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
