he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I came so hard my ears popped.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
