How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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