Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
