he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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