I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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