He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
