its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
