Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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