everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
