when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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